Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
