he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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