There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
