Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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