he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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