I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?