? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My breasts were aching with rage.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.