this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
