True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I will be naked everywhere
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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