yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my shit smells like andre
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
