she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
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It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
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you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS