I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS