Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice

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  (510): my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice http://tfl.nu/x5d6
  Replies (4) Good night (1717) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.

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  (519): oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo. (1-519): like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family. http://tfl.nu/xf88
  Replies (17) Good night (6250) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She acts like you when your on meds

  (510): View more from California

  She acts like batman?

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  (616): She acts like you when your on meds (510): She acts like batman? http://tfl.nu/zvs9
  Replies (17) Good night (6197) Bad night (605)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...

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  (509): I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber... http://tfl.nu/856a
  Replies (63) Good night (689) Bad night (4020) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  we need to drink 2009 down the drain

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  (718): we need to drink 2009 down the drain http://tfl.nu/q0df
  Replies (16) Good night (4896) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  She's like a pop up book from hell.

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  (716): She's like a pop up book from hell. http://tfl.nu/grf5
  Replies (18) Good night (913) Bad night (3956) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch

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  (954): my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch http://tfl.nu/nq1q
  Replies (12) Good night (3007) Bad night (1005) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.

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  (256): I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources. http://tfl.nu/m7l9
  Replies (28) Good night (3646) Bad night (1267) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him

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  (310): I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him http://tfl.nu/a0ny
  Replies (14) Good night (3949) Bad night (1682) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens

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  (606): Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens http://tfl.nu/90cr
  Replies (9) Good night (3597) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean

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  (716): I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean http://tfl.nu/rm0w
  Replies (17) Good night (1323) Bad night (2608) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?

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  (303): I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class? http://tfl.nu/wrjt
  Replies (3) Good night (1316) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room

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  (661): Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room http://tfl.nu/4z49
  Replies (9) Good night (2056) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.

  (1-585): View more from New York

  How high are you?

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  (585): Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies. (1-585): How high are you? http://tfl.nu/ixro
  Replies (6) Good night (2179) Bad night (331)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.

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  (413): He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex. http://tfl.nu/az8i
  Replies (1) Good night (240) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt

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