Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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