Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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