Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.

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  (270): If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit. http://tfl.nu/gpdl
  Replies (100) Good night (1073) Bad night (2743)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together

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  (713): Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together http://tfl.nu/ix8i
  Replies (15) Good night (1602) Bad night (2560)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.

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  (620): My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win. http://tfl.nu/w5au
  Replies (53) Good night (12665) Bad night (781)
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  (916): View more from California

  How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.

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  (916): How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology. http://tfl.nu/cnij
  Replies (34) Good night (1082) Bad night (3677)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY

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  (360): Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY http://tfl.nu/mbk8
  Replies (12) Good night (1915) Bad night (1021)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...

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  (253): Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning... http://tfl.nu/es8o
  Replies (6) Good night (2643) Bad night (722)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.

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  (219): If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please. http://tfl.nu/b8so
  Replies (4) Good night (1391) Bad night (504)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?

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  (302): All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation? http://tfl.nu/0s1x
  Replies (2) Good night (1088) Bad night (515)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.

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  (225): You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness. http://tfl.nu/h6eg
  Replies (5) Good night (398) Bad night (905)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze

  (713): View more from Texas

  My liver has a boner

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  (832): But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze (713): My liver has a boner http://tfl.nu/y8xq
  Replies (3) Good night (1307) Bad night (440)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.

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  (717): I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/2l8e
  Replies (3) Good night (606) Bad night (533)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?

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  (757): Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this? http://tfl.nu/omqc
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (247)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find

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  (215): shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find http://tfl.nu/sf13
  Replies (4) Good night (600) Bad night (336)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?

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  (516): Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep? http://tfl.nu/76br
  Replies (7) Good night (901) Bad night (258)
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  (212): View more from New York

  80% sure the drag queens carried her home

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  (212): 80% sure the drag queens carried her home http://tfl.nu/gmg4
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (177)

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