apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
