Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.

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(817): View more from Texas

He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.

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(630): View more from Illinois

That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."

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(808): View more from Hawaii

In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?

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