this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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