made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
