I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
