If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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