i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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