Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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