at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
