I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
