i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
