I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
