Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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