when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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