one might say we're banned from that church
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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