the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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