i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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