Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
