I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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