Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
