5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
