Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize