i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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