She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
