been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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