Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
