Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
