after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
