my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
