they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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