What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
