Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
