What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
