I think I just saw someone hide a body.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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