Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize