Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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