Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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