Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
