i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
