went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
