Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
