he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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