I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
