So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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