he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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