I heard we made out
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
