bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
