its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
