I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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