your parents love me but you hate me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
