i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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