just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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