When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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