i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How external is "for external use only"?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
