so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
